Happiness Is...

Seeing friends you haven't seen in weeks and picking up, right where you left off

Hugging one another so tight that you never want to let go

Sitting in a huddle, celebrating friendship

Not waiting until its too late

Relying on friends to let you escape from your children - even if it's for 5 minutes

Holding hands and jumping into a pool with your clothes on

Getting into a hot tub that's way too small for 10 gals

Stripping down to your bra and comparing breast sizes

Laughing til it hurts

Talking one another into heart tattoo's

Not waiting until its too late...to celebrate friendship and sisterhood

Summer Life

I promise! I have not fallen off the face of the earth, but summertime seems just as busy as the school days. The kids have fallen into a routine of sleeping in until about 9:ooam. Which, I love because the babysitter comes to our house in the morning and I just have to get myself ready! I just finished coaching girls softball with Gianna's team. That was fun, but also challenging. 6 and 7 year old girls have the attention span of a noodle...to show them how to catch a ball is very frustrating. I should have taken up drinking during that time! Brandon went to summer camp at Mt. Gilead - my old stomping grounds as a kid. He had the best time ever and he plans on going there every summer. Gianna just turned 7 and I have decided that her job should be with Merry Maids. She cleans my house everyday while she is home. Dumping garbage's, unloading the dishwasher, mopping, vacuuming, dusting. The list goes on and on! She bought a MP3 player with her birthday money and can sit in her room for hours...singing. I don't think she realizes that I can hear her singing through the door. I stand at the closed doorway, listening to her bust out with Miley Cyrus. Nothing much with me lately. I'm trying to figure out my next big goal. I was thinking a Triathlon, but I tried swimming in open water and thought I'd die. I guess like everything...you just have to do it a step at a time

All Star

My son is an All Star. His name is not printed on a piece of paper or etched in a $5.00 trophy that collects dust. His compassion and wisdom is etched in my heart. We just wrapped up the baseball season and with that comes the responsibility of the players to vote for the opposing teams players for THE ALL STARS! Brandon looked beyond the ability to catch a ball or to bat a home run. He decided to vote for a player who had a physical disability...a boy who limped around all the bases and got thrown out on first base every single time. Brandon said, "Mom, I voted for him because he had courage to even play. He had courage to run the bases with a limp, in front of everyone. To me that is an all star." God, I love that boy!

Crossing The Line

I crossed the finish line at 2 hours, 25 minutes, and 56 seconds. Although, the joy, the satisfaction, and the accomplishment can not be connected to a watch. The experience was physical, emotional, and spiritual. I did it. Whether if some finished in an hour and a half, the distance that we traveled was the same...13.2 miles. I discovered so much of myself, how much I could push myself, how far my body could go. It took a lot to get to that starting line and once I was there, the negative messages and thoughts that I have trained my mind to believe, were left there as the gun went off. I was now a long distance athlete-and I was going to finish even if I had to crawl. The first 2 miles, I ran on adrenaline. Although, I ran this race alone, it was the other runner's that encouraged me. It is a secret bond or club that you are initiated into, once you put that number on your chest. It didn't matter fat, skinny, old, or young...I knew what it took to be there and what it was going to take to finish. I found myself encouraging others too. What a great day!

The Count Down

May 2, 2010 seemed so far off in January, when I decided to run my very first half marathon. And now I only have 7 days left ! I'm super excited and scared at the same time. I'm sure if I sat long enough to count how many miles I've run in the past 4 months, I'd be close to 100. 5 miles here, 10 miles there. It's funny how I've always convinced myself that "I'm not a runner." And I would be lucky to run one mile without keeling over from a heart attack. But now I consider running 4 miles, "my short run". I'm excited about where I'm running too! Humboldt National Park. I just love being outdoors and I've decided that I'm not running with an ipod. I want to experience this whole adventure - the sights, the sounds, the smells, my heart pounding in my ears, my breathe synchronized with my footsteps. Although, I do have one hesitation about this whole running thing and that's going to the bathroom. It seems every time I run longer then six miles my bowels kick in! What's the deal with that? Can't it be simple? And since I've never run in any type of race, I don't really have a goal time.....I just want to finish what I started...even if I have to crawl across the finish line!

Cinderella Ride

April 10, 2010, I rode in my very first 100K bike ride -66.8 miles! I was invited by Brandon's teacher, who has become my friend and exercise partner while training for my half marathon. We woke up at 4:15am in the morning, loaded our bikes and we were on the rode by 5:00am. We made our way to Pleasanton, got signed in, and on our bikes by 8:00am. It was so chilly and the wind was blowing about 30 miles an hour. Some moments, I was sure I was going to be blown off the bike - but thank God-no falls! I'm not exactly sure how many women are in this ride, but I'd say at least 1000! Some dressed up in tutu's, funny helmets, and crazy socks. Next year, I think I'll wear my afro over my helmet. It was such beautiful scenery and tons and tons of hills. There was even a man at the top of one hill that would pop a lemon drop in your mouth because you barely had any saliva in your mouth. I think that was the hardest hill and all I could think of was my friend Shannan, who's birthday just happened to be the same day. When she was sick with Leukemia and 80lbs she rode her bike up a steep, steep, hill. I asked her why and she told me because she could. That moment got me up that hill. My buns and "other" parts got pretty sore and ended up ditching my underwear in a port of potty - word to the wise-don't wear underwear, they are useless! All in all, I felt challenged and that I could do anything that I push myself to do. Counting down to 3 weeks for my first half marathon!

Hoopster

My daughter is so much like me, but yet so different. I can make a friend with a brick wall and you have to hit her upside the head with a brick to make a friend. I decided that she needed to branch out in her social skills and signed her up for Spring League Basketball. However, it really isn't that easy...since I have to coach her team in order for her to feel comfortable enough to play. So Here We GO! Sunday was her very first basketball game and I swear it was the cutest thing I have ever seen . Gianna was running up and down the court and getting in front of her own players. And then the moment came. SHE HAD THE BALL! I was sick inside. What was she going to do with it? She grabbed the ball with both hands, took it down low, and did a Granny shot. Whoosh! Two points! Just like her mama...except for the Granny shot of course. The best part? She looked right at me and we had a silent moment together of pride!

Half Marathon

For the past several years, I have made physical goals for myself....Half Dome, 50K Bike Tour, Double Dipsea, and River Rafting, to name a few. I've always had my partner in crime along the way - Tina. Tina and I train together and encourage one another through it all. I think that is what is so fascinating about setting a goal because it is about the steps that took you there...not the final destination. All the time and commitment that we have shared together is what makes it fun. And then to finish what we started is such an accomplishment - appreciating the journey and the finish line. We decided in January that we were going to run a half marathon together. Of course, Tina was way more excited then me because I hate to run. We started training and she got hurt! She tried to push through the pain, but it just isn't going to happen for her. I feel torn in so many directions because I never do things like this on my own. But I am so far into the training, that I decided that I am going to do it on my own. It's a scary thing for me and I'm a little sad about it. But I WILL CONQUER! It's not only about crossing the finish line, but also about knowing that I can push myself.

STRETCHED

Describe me in one word. And I'm sure most people would say....funny. That's who I am. I think it all began when I was fat because I'd rather be funny or make fun of myself first, before anyone else could. I'd rather hurt my own feelings than feel the pain and hurt of another. So...funny I am. And I've progressed from there. Funny at a party, funny at work, funny with friends, making up funny songs. It's my element and I'm comfortable with it. Recently, I was asked to step out of my comfort of funny and do something serious for a Women's Retreat. Since this year has been defined by cancer, I decided to do a skit of my journey through the pain of losing a friend to this disease. I'm telling you... I kicked and screamed through the entire process because I hate to show my vulnerable side. But I did it. And was asked to do the skit again in front of church on Valentines Day. It was very emotional for me and I could barely get through it. I showed my pain of loss, my anger at God, my doubt, my sadness...but through it all...the promise that God held my hand through it all was evident. And I know that when we are stretched like that is when we grow the most.

INVISIBLE WOMAN

What would you like for lunch? No answer. What would you like to wear today? No answer. Pick up your backpack. No movement. Do your homework. No movement. Okay....sooooo....I'm invisible! Does the taxi fairy bring the children to school? Does the breakfast, lunch, and dinner fairy wave her magic wand and your stomach is full? So, I'm just wondering.....what would happen if I went on strike? Would the family realize that the invisible woman....isn't really invisible at all?

Celebrating Life

Well.....today I turned 36! Woot Woot! Just four more years to the big 40! But in all my years of life, this past year I have learned the most. I have grown in so many different areas of my life, even if I was kicking and screaming throughout it all. Change is not the easiest for me because it is comforting to know what is going to happen next. But without change...how can you really meet your full potential? Selling yourself short on the could of's, would of's, and should of's. I've learned that there are people in my life that I've drawn closer to, who love me for me, without any attachments. And there are those people or things that I've weeded out, that seem to strangle who I am and what I stand for. I guess I've learned to set my boundaries. But I've also learned to push my physical boundaries as well....hiking, rafting, biking...things I never thought I'd do. I've learned how to live life in a different way this year. Thanks to all of you, who are a big part of it.

My Mother In Law

I'm not sure how she really does it. I think she carries a magic wand. My mother in law never forgets a detail during the Christmas season. The tree is nicely decorated (although this year she bought two because she didn't like the first one), sugar cookies decorated, fudge plated, stockings over flowing, every present tied with love and a glittered bow, ham baking in the oven, and homemade gnocchi's to boot. I truly think the kids think that they are driving to The North Pole, when they are actually driving to Sebastopol to go to Gram's house on Christmas. Although, I love all the things my mother in law does....I do tell her that she is crazy because it must be hard work to make seven grandchildren eyes glow. But she does it every year. This year, Brandon wanted an electric guitar, which my husband said very firmly..NO WAY! My heart ached because I knew how much he really wanted it and how disappointed he would be. And guess what? My mother in law has authority over my husband and Santa had this amazing gift at her house. When Brandon opened the electric guitar he had the most amazing look of joy on his face, that I actually teared up. He kept saying...I'm so happy, I'm so happy! This was the first time in my life that I was happy that she did not listen to me or my husband. She truly made Christmas magic. Thanks Jill!

My Wish For You This Christmas

My wish for you this Christmas is that you have a job, a home, family, and good friends. That you wrap yourself in light and enjoy the small blessings around you. I use to think it was about the presents...but it is about being present for those you love. ~Merry Christmas~

9 Months and The Labor of Love

Everyone has a box that they hide in the back of their closets and no matter where you go or where you move - it is always there- until you decide to get rid of it! The box of guilt, shame lonliness...the list goes on and on. For the last nine months since my friend Shannan died, I've had the "Where were you God Box". I've felt the sadness. I've felt the guilt of getting to hug her nine year old son and I've felt the guilt of tucking him in. And then it hit me - I should be thankful. Thankful that I get to do that for Shannan and for her son. That I can be a part of this whole story. I grabbed my box, dusted it off, and handed it over in thankfulness. But this story gets better. 9 months to the day, this little boy called me on the phone and at the end of the phone call he said, "Bye, I love you." What a precious gift, that I have been given. This last nine months has been such a labor of love - just like a nine month pregnancy. The pains, the uncomfortableness, the sickness, but in the end, when all is delivered....there is such beauty that you hold on to. And when that boy said he loved me...I felt the freedom of letting go of that box.

Thankful

Looking back at the year...so much has gone on. Many times the darkness of some days can overshadow the little joys in life. There's something I've learned about shadows....you need light to create a shadow. In the midst of the hard times, there is always some joy. I have found many of my joyous moments and "little lights" are my friends. I am extremely thankful for all you. The humor, the laughter, the honesty, the dancing, the rafting trips, the bike rides, the impromptu get togethers, and the openness to say I love you at the end of a phone conversation, means so much to me. I think about all my friendships...my longest with Vicki ....30 years...to my most recent friends...brought together by tragedy.....and feel blessed by each one of you. Love you all!

My Confession

Here's my confession..I found out today that I am in love with a woman. It took my 3 years to get naked in front of my husband (I'm worth the wait- I might add) and it took me only 2 minutes to undress for her! And I paid her to touch me! And when we were done...I wanted to shout out on a mountain top and confess to her...I LOVE YOU! So before you gross out and think that I'm ready to walk in the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade....I got a massage. I have been so sore and achy for months. My husband refused to massage me for days...so I hit him where it hurts! His wallet! I wasn't going to go around in pain anymore. It was the best impromptu call I have ever made. It really can be addicting and I think that I just may treat myself more often.

Updates

Just a couple of updates on the Gregori clan...I completed the Asti Bike Tour this last Saturday..the 50K. Next year, I vow to do the 100K. No major mishaps, except for the fact that my shoes wouldn't unclick from the bike pedals and I had to biff it, in front of the "professional" bike riders, sporting their air dynamic bikes and apparel! Embarrassing! Tina cracked me up because she decided that two guys were going too slow up a steep hill and she passed them up...that was my highlight! It was such a wonderful time and great accomplishment to do it with a group of friends. Of course, I didn't have my camera - I can't ride a bike and photograph at the same time.

Sent the kids back to their old school in Sebastopol this week. Sigh of relief! I guess I had to put them back in Cloverdale, to realize where they truly needed to be. The commute isn't as bad as I remember it...although it does get old. The kids were so excited to see their old friends. Brandon has decided he is going to be part of the school band and play the Saxophone - Lord give me patience already!

The kids both decided on their Halloween costumes - Brandon a rock star (can't wait to get pictures on that one) and Gianna...you guessed it...a princess. Such their personalities. And me..A witch...and yep...that's my personality! ha ha

Why Moms Have Rules?

Every night, I have the kids help make their lunches. Why didn't they tell me in Lamaze class, when I was pregnant, that this would be part of my parenting duties? I may have reconsidered having children, just for that reason. Not to mention, making lunches is the worst labor pains ever! I dread it....what to put in the stuffy sweaty vinyl box? I have to make sure their lunches are well rounded. I don't put 20 cookies and a soda in it..although there are days, that would be so simple! A fruit, a sandwich, pretzels...all the things that teachers want to see. So, last night, after gathering the lunches together, I told the kids to put them in the refrigerator. Simple request, I know. Then I walked away. Fast forward 10 hours with the rising sun. Open the refrigerator. "Wow guys! You already put your lunches in your backpacks? That's great." "Yeah mom, we put them in their last night." Oh, okay! So you think that mayo on that sandwich will not rot? Or what about that yogurt? Did you really want cottage cheese? Why do I waste my time, giving you a rule, if you are going to do what you want anyway?

Joy

I'm finally coming up for air. Sometimes, life can just knock the air out of you and it takes awhile to come back up. But I'm here! And a sweet friend (Lavon) has reminded me that through life, you can't forget the Joy! Joy doesn't mean the outside appearance of happiness, but the internal gratitude of the small stuff. And I noticed that I don't have to look for Joy - it is already present...in my friends, in my husband and children, and the fact that I am loved. This weekend I enjoyed watching Brandon go tubing and wake boarding for the first time. The pure excitement on his face was priceless. That truly made my day. The weekend before, I went to a wedding in Tahoe. Man, I am old! It was a little girl I use to babysit...scary! I spent alone time with my husband, without constant interruption...and I can now remember why I married him in the first place! Gianna and I went to the Miley Cyrus concert two weekends ago. When Miley Cyrus came out, I watched the raw joy on Gianna's face. It's amazing that a six year old knows what to do at a concert! So all in all....I got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, down in my heart!

Just When...

I thought I could breathe, cancer hit again. A lot of my friends say that in order to make this blog...you gotta have cancer. Frankly, I'm sick of writing about this! My friend Vickey (the one in the pink) just found out last night that she has to ride this journey. Two things I know for sure is this......

1. A group of girlfriends (such as us) can not be reckoned with. Our strength is uncompromising

2. God has a plan, even when we don't know what it is - His hand is in it all. We just need to learn to trust it.

I'm still processing it all. Not much more to say...only that I love you Vickey!