You say.......Vacation?

Last week we packed up the travel trailer with $400.00 worth of junk food, took out a small loan to fill our diesel tank, and traveled 250 miles to Butt Lake. Do you know why they call it Butt Lake? Cuz only stupid asses camp for vacation! First of all, who in their right mind would travel that far with children in a car? And then go camping with a husband that is a clean freak? "Sure honey... we will delouse, de dirt, and fumigate ourselves before we enter the golden home on wheels!" Since I'm on a roll now.... Who wants to clean their private parts with a wash cloth for a week. I'm sure my gynecologist is thanking me for not scheduling my appointment the day I got home from camping. And then you have to haul water back and forth like you lived in ancient times. And then there was the cooking aspect of it all.... complaining that the bacon was too crisp, the scrambled eggs not good enough, the toast too burnt. Well, let me just say... the last time I looked down at my shirt, I didn't see a pin that said "IHOP serving you since 1980". Then there was the lake, that was struck by drought! Geese everywhere, which means geese poop everywhere. It was like swimming in a goose toilet bowl. Okay - I'm done. Lord have Mercy! I need a vacation!

SHE'S FIVE AND I'M STILL ALIVE!

I can still hear my fear when I found out I was pregnant 6 years ago.... please let it be another boy... I don't know what I will do if it is a girl! Obviously, that is not how it played out. I remember taking Lamaze classes and thinking.. this is stupid! But Lamaze was not for the labor and delivery... it was for the aftermath of parenting. Heeeee Heeeee Hooooo! Heeeee Heeeee Hooo! I practice this on a daily basis when my kids test my patience - and boy do they. But I am so glad that I had my little girl because she has taught me so much about myself. The funny thing about her is that we are so different, but alike. She cannot walk past a mirror without looking at herself, fixing her hair, and then applying her strawberry mango lip smacker several times, until it is smeared outside of her lips. The best thing? Kissing those lips! The worst thing? The sassiness that comes out of those lips. I can't believe that she is five years old today. Time has gone by so fast. Time has gone by so slow. I look back at baby pictures and I feel like I have lost a little person. Where did that baby go? Who will she be later? Happy Birthday to my "big" girl! Can't you stop growing? Gianna also shares her birthday with her cute little cousin Jaxon. Happy 3rd birthday Jaxon!

GOTTA HAVE FRIENDS

I have been truly blessed by many good friends in life. I don't mean the one's that come and go, but the one's that you know you will grow old with. There are many things I have learned throughout my journey with my friends.........

-You can fart at the table with your friends and not get grossed out..(that one is for Vicki, who -actually lifts her entire leg to let one go)

-You can take your bra off at night and let the "girls" hang out and not be judged that they look like hackey sacs

-You can get in a swim suit in front of one another and know why each of you has run into the hot tub-because we all know that we have cellulite on our legs

-And because we have cellulite on our legs we all share a gallon of ice cream together with all the toppings

-We can ask for prayer from one another and not feel like we always have to be perfect

-We can talk about our weakness with one another and then feel stronger than ever-because we have been built up by our friends

-We can get our exercise by laughing so hard that our stomach muscles ache

-I have learned that I can never have done it on my own

And last but not least, I wanted to say Happy Birthday today to one of my best friends (since I was 5) - Happy Birthday Heather!!! I love you and miss you! I'll eat a piece a cake for you today!

STRANGER

Have you ever had a moment in life where you know you could beat a stranger's ass??!!! You know where this is going... don't you? I totally had that moment this morning! I'm driving to work this morning, radio playing, singing like I just won American Idol and I see it. The devil herself driving a black Camero. I think she thought she was exempt from all rules and regulations. You know the kind...."I don't have to stop at this stop sign. I'm driving the worlds best car." She had platinum blond hair and black roots that matched her Camero. How do I know the color of her hair? Because she came that close to hitting me as she ran through the stop sign, which was for everyone else but her. And then she had the nerve to flip me off! What I really wanted to do, was grab those roots and pull them out of her head. She was lucky that she was protected by the encasing of her vehicle. I think that my minivan throws people off. "Oh, here goes the soccer mom in her red minivan. She won't mind if I just run this stop sign... she'll stop to protect her family." But what they don't know is that I only drive this vehicle for convenience. If I wasn't running late for work, I would have turned around and followed her. Isn't it funny, how one incident can change your mood in an instant?

Simplicity

It is not what we leave behind when we die, but it is those who we leave behind that matters. A year ago, Nono left this world. But I guess after 92 years on this earth, he was ready to move on. It was with heavy hearts that we let him go, but he will never be forgotten. The admiration that I have for Nono is unmeasurable. Simplicity of spirit is how I would describe this man. He worked hard for his family, barely, if at all missing a day of work. He didn't live in a mansion, but that is not what makes a home. His love for Nonnie was something that you could not put words to. I remember many conversations with him, after Nonnie died, and it was as though someone stole his heart, lost without her. He was not a man of many words, but his presence was strong. There have been times in the past year (at birthday parties, bbq's, holidays) that things just don't seem right and then I remember.....Nono isn't here. A week before he died, Gianna and I sat on a porch swing with him, eating licorice, and tracing our hands with pencil and paper. It's the simplicity of the memories with him that will be traced in my heart. Love you Nono!

BECAUSE YOU CAN!

I know you all are probably tired of my stories of Half Dome, but I have to tell you, so much happened in those 14 hours! As we were walking on the trail and the terrain got steeper and steeper, I said with a groan, "Why? Why?!" And this lady that was just ahead a few feet, turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Because you can!" I really needed to hear that. Many of my friends tell me that I can make new friends just about anywhere. And this trip was no different. I met one of the neatest people out in the wilderness. Her name was Francis, but we named her Grandma Francis. She told us all about her battle with drugs, her children, her marriage, her weight loss. And the most amazing thing was that she was climbing Half Dome on her own. We ended up walking awhile together and lost contact with her once my friend "Charlie the leg cramp" took over. 4 or 5 hours later we saw her on the trail again and we walked with her all the way back to her camp. She shared with me that she kept repeating the verse, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Which I thought was amazing, since that is my life verse! Its funny the people you can meet by just going out on a limb - or in my case... going out on a rock!

AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN TOO HIGH.... to fart

It was a total serious matter. I was going straight up - completely vertical for 425 feet - and I wasn't about to lose my focus. Let's just say, I got real familiar and friendly with my REI hiking boots. I was not about to look up and I wasn't even going to attempt looking down. My mind kicked into the "This means business" mode. Holding on tight to the cables, or should I say, clinging to my life on a metal thread, I started to descend the granite rock. My biceps were burning, and if my toes could of clawed into the rock, they would have. Just about the middle of the descent, a man was passing me, coming up the cables. There was a large step that he had to throw his leg up on and then pull himself up. As soon as he pulled his body up off the ground, I heard it! "BBBBLLLLLLLTTT" He freakin farted. Not a little dainty fart, but a "I just ate beans for dinner fart!" In normal circumstances, I would have busted up. But with the fear that had consumed me, I was so afraid to move any other part of my body. As soon as I got down and knew I couldn't fall, I let my head throw itself back and I laughed my butt off! Ain't no mountain high...to fart!