Mind Over Splatter

Beware for those who's stomachs are weak. Do not read on. For those of you who dare to go on - we need to talk about a serious disease that strikes every woman at least once in a lifetime. SYBC, otherwise known as Squeeze Your Butt Cheeks. It usually strikes when you are in the middle of no where. For example, the other day I was on a four mile walk and the stomach pains began. I was doubled over, sweat beads started to form on my upper lip and forehead. I could barely go on. My ears no longer could hear anyone, but my inner self saying, "Squeeze hard. You can do it! You only have 3 more miles to go!" When this disease strikes, it makes your mind think of things that you normally would not do. I started to think... maybe I can knock on that dilapidated mobile home's door (sitting out in a field, surrounded by pit bulls). I don't care it there is a meth lab in their gated community or marijuana plants in wine barrels. I just need to use their bathroom. Who cares if Grizzly Adams answers the door with no teeth. I NEED TO GO! But the stomach pain subsides and I am snapped back into reality. Thankfully, I did make it home, just in time. The only cure for SYBC is a nice cold porcelain seat and a good magazine!