I'm thankful for:
Waking up every morning with a roof over my head and the smell of coffee that my husband makes for me every morning. Cuddling my children in their beds and the smell of their freshly washed hair and jammies. For my job that provides me money to live. For all the ladies that I work with - they are more than just co-workers, but friends. For my health. My husband and children. I'm thankful for my friends and the little blessings that they give to me on a daily basis. I'm thankful for the gift of humor - for without it I don't think I would have made it this far. For Starbucks and Subway, my two favorite places. For SPANX, which hold in the fat rolls when you want to "appear" thin. I'm thankful for fuzzy socks that keep my feet warm at night. The way my kids whisper mommy. The way my friends hug me tight, even though I just was with them yesterday. The way my husband kisses me in the morning when I'm pretending to sleep. I'm thankful for God, who has never failed me and never has let go.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
It all started with a simple trip to Walmart. I found this silly 70's costume and wanted to put it to use. But how? My question was answered as I was blasting my radio in the car. I WILL SURVIVE came blaring out of my speakers. "Lets do a spoof video for our friend Shannan to this song!" To say the least, I was totally excited. I told some other girls and they looked at me like I was nuts! Okay.....I am nuts, but that is beside the point. It took a lot of convincing, a couple shots of tequila, and a few glasses of wine to get these girls to step out of their comfort zone. And We Did IT. I just wished someone would have told me that my butt looked like the entire Home and Garden Center at Home Depot in those flowered pants. Who says the camera adds 10lbs? But the amazing thing is that all of these ladies pushed themselves out of their comfort level, all in the name of love for a friend. I got an email earlier today from my friend Cheryl who thanked me for making her do something that she would not have normally done. And it is always so much more fun to do new things with a group of friends! And THEY SURVIVED! Who knows? We may be the next GIRL BAND!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Loose bits of color surround us in life. Joy. Happiness. Laughter. Then there are the little pieces of unwanted plastic. Sorrow. Illness. Pain. Whether bits of plastic or colorful glass in our lives, it reflects who are. It may seem chaotic in the moment as our days turn and no clear picture can be viewed. Our lives our constantly changing. But then we see it. The Beauty. All of it comes together. And its God's hands who turn our kaleidoscope. Last night was such a blessing. The kids and I went to visit Shannan. She will be leaving on Monday for Stanford to begin her long journey - radiation, chemotherapy, and bone marrow transplant. As I sat and talked to her, I was overwhelmed with how beautiful she was. You can't help but love her, even though she makes you sick with how good she looks at 97lbs and a bandana on her head. If I wore a bandana on my bald head, I'd look like Mr. Clean. But her spirit is beyond any words that I can place on this blank page. With everything going on in her life, she is still amazing. Trusting that the One who holds her life in His hands, will turn this into something beautiful.
Monday, November 17, 2008
P M S! If anyone says its not real.....look me in the face right now and you can see the PMS rage fuming from my eyes. On second thought...you better not ask because you may not want to suffer my wrath (I do have a sharp object within hands grasp). I don't even like myself at this time of month. And it takes me a week before I realize why I hate life so much. I should have realized it when I ate a whole (deluxe movie size) box of Milk Duds in two seconds flat! Oh Yeah! Duh? My period is coming. I hate everything and everyone around me. I can't explain it. I feel like I'm being swallowed up by a silent force. Things that normally don't bother me can quickly get under my skin. I can see it happening around me, but can't stop it. It's as if I'm watching my life from a movie screen. Or when you see something bad happening and you can't get the words out to stop it. And then its too late. Your snippy, crazy, hate life attitude, has already reared its ugly head. Words have been said that shouldn't have. I swear sometimes my husband must really love me because he just hangs in there! The period starts and Boom! I feel better. So for those of you who don't believe in PMS---come to my house around the 10th of each month--you will change your mind!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Parenting. Mistakes. Exhaustion. Forgiveness. Just breath, I tell myself on a moment by moment basis. I swear Lamaze was not for the birthing process, but for the hard parenting moments in life. Breath in. Breath out. But in the end, there is a blessing that you can hold on to. I never knew parenting could be so difficult. I thought I had it all figured out, since I was such a great babysitter when I was younger. It is so much different when the children are your own. Brandon and I are two peas in a pod. We both wear our hearts on our sleeves. Saturday night, we had some battles. Did I also mention that Brandon is so much like me when it comes to his hard head? Well, he decided that he wanted to move out on Saturday night. It was about 9:00pm and it was storming out. I told him go ahead, but he couldn't bring anything with him, since it was all mine. No pillows. No blankets. No food. He second guessed himself and I still have an eight year old living under my roof. We ended up having a good discussion after that. I told him that being sorry is changing your behavior. I think he understood, since I got his heart wrenching letter, that was placed so gently on my pillow.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Everyone wants to be a part of something. That is the way our human minds and hearts were created - to have a sense of belonging. What good would life be if you lived it alone? I am blessed to live in my community. I have always said, "If something goes wrong, I know I will have meals for years!" Last night, was my friend Shannan's fund raiser. I believe over 400 tickets were sold and people actually had to be turned away at the door. Even though they were turned away, they still donated money. Pints upon pints of blood were also donated in honor of Shannan. Men jumped in and moved tables and carried heavy filled ice chests. Women sliced bread, stirred spaghetti sauce, sold t-shirts. Children ran around like "little gophers" retrieving what ever was needed. It all came together for one purpose. For Shannan. It always amazes me how just one life can effect the lives of others. And sitting in that room last night, I felt the love of so many people. Shannan always says ,"Live and Love like there is no tomorrow. Make this day the best day of your life." Leukemia was not the deciding factor of how Shannan lives - she lived that way before she was diagnosed. And the community is better off for having her in our lives.