My Mother In Law

I'm not sure how she really does it. I think she carries a magic wand. My mother in law never forgets a detail during the Christmas season. The tree is nicely decorated (although this year she bought two because she didn't like the first one), sugar cookies decorated, fudge plated, stockings over flowing, every present tied with love and a glittered bow, ham baking in the oven, and homemade gnocchi's to boot. I truly think the kids think that they are driving to The North Pole, when they are actually driving to Sebastopol to go to Gram's house on Christmas. Although, I love all the things my mother in law does....I do tell her that she is crazy because it must be hard work to make seven grandchildren eyes glow. But she does it every year. This year, Brandon wanted an electric guitar, which my husband said very firmly..NO WAY! My heart ached because I knew how much he really wanted it and how disappointed he would be. And guess what? My mother in law has authority over my husband and Santa had this amazing gift at her house. When Brandon opened the electric guitar he had the most amazing look of joy on his face, that I actually teared up. He kept saying...I'm so happy, I'm so happy! This was the first time in my life that I was happy that she did not listen to me or my husband. She truly made Christmas magic. Thanks Jill!

My Wish For You This Christmas

My wish for you this Christmas is that you have a job, a home, family, and good friends. That you wrap yourself in light and enjoy the small blessings around you. I use to think it was about the presents...but it is about being present for those you love. ~Merry Christmas~

9 Months and The Labor of Love

Everyone has a box that they hide in the back of their closets and no matter where you go or where you move - it is always there- until you decide to get rid of it! The box of guilt, shame lonliness...the list goes on and on. For the last nine months since my friend Shannan died, I've had the "Where were you God Box". I've felt the sadness. I've felt the guilt of getting to hug her nine year old son and I've felt the guilt of tucking him in. And then it hit me - I should be thankful. Thankful that I get to do that for Shannan and for her son. That I can be a part of this whole story. I grabbed my box, dusted it off, and handed it over in thankfulness. But this story gets better. 9 months to the day, this little boy called me on the phone and at the end of the phone call he said, "Bye, I love you." What a precious gift, that I have been given. This last nine months has been such a labor of love - just like a nine month pregnancy. The pains, the uncomfortableness, the sickness, but in the end, when all is delivered....there is such beauty that you hold on to. And when that boy said he loved me...I felt the freedom of letting go of that box.

Thankful

Looking back at the year...so much has gone on. Many times the darkness of some days can overshadow the little joys in life. There's something I've learned about shadows....you need light to create a shadow. In the midst of the hard times, there is always some joy. I have found many of my joyous moments and "little lights" are my friends. I am extremely thankful for all you. The humor, the laughter, the honesty, the dancing, the rafting trips, the bike rides, the impromptu get togethers, and the openness to say I love you at the end of a phone conversation, means so much to me. I think about all my friendships...my longest with Vicki ....30 years...to my most recent friends...brought together by tragedy.....and feel blessed by each one of you. Love you all!

My Confession

Here's my confession..I found out today that I am in love with a woman. It took my 3 years to get naked in front of my husband (I'm worth the wait- I might add) and it took me only 2 minutes to undress for her! And I paid her to touch me! And when we were done...I wanted to shout out on a mountain top and confess to her...I LOVE YOU! So before you gross out and think that I'm ready to walk in the San Francisco Gay Pride Parade....I got a massage. I have been so sore and achy for months. My husband refused to massage me for days...so I hit him where it hurts! His wallet! I wasn't going to go around in pain anymore. It was the best impromptu call I have ever made. It really can be addicting and I think that I just may treat myself more often.

Updates

Just a couple of updates on the Gregori clan...I completed the Asti Bike Tour this last Saturday..the 50K. Next year, I vow to do the 100K. No major mishaps, except for the fact that my shoes wouldn't unclick from the bike pedals and I had to biff it, in front of the "professional" bike riders, sporting their air dynamic bikes and apparel! Embarrassing! Tina cracked me up because she decided that two guys were going too slow up a steep hill and she passed them up...that was my highlight! It was such a wonderful time and great accomplishment to do it with a group of friends. Of course, I didn't have my camera - I can't ride a bike and photograph at the same time.

Sent the kids back to their old school in Sebastopol this week. Sigh of relief! I guess I had to put them back in Cloverdale, to realize where they truly needed to be. The commute isn't as bad as I remember it...although it does get old. The kids were so excited to see their old friends. Brandon has decided he is going to be part of the school band and play the Saxophone - Lord give me patience already!

The kids both decided on their Halloween costumes - Brandon a rock star (can't wait to get pictures on that one) and Gianna...you guessed it...a princess. Such their personalities. And me..A witch...and yep...that's my personality! ha ha

Why Moms Have Rules?

Every night, I have the kids help make their lunches. Why didn't they tell me in Lamaze class, when I was pregnant, that this would be part of my parenting duties? I may have reconsidered having children, just for that reason. Not to mention, making lunches is the worst labor pains ever! I dread it....what to put in the stuffy sweaty vinyl box? I have to make sure their lunches are well rounded. I don't put 20 cookies and a soda in it..although there are days, that would be so simple! A fruit, a sandwich, pretzels...all the things that teachers want to see. So, last night, after gathering the lunches together, I told the kids to put them in the refrigerator. Simple request, I know. Then I walked away. Fast forward 10 hours with the rising sun. Open the refrigerator. "Wow guys! You already put your lunches in your backpacks? That's great." "Yeah mom, we put them in their last night." Oh, okay! So you think that mayo on that sandwich will not rot? Or what about that yogurt? Did you really want cottage cheese? Why do I waste my time, giving you a rule, if you are going to do what you want anyway?

Joy

I'm finally coming up for air. Sometimes, life can just knock the air out of you and it takes awhile to come back up. But I'm here! And a sweet friend (Lavon) has reminded me that through life, you can't forget the Joy! Joy doesn't mean the outside appearance of happiness, but the internal gratitude of the small stuff. And I noticed that I don't have to look for Joy - it is already present...in my friends, in my husband and children, and the fact that I am loved. This weekend I enjoyed watching Brandon go tubing and wake boarding for the first time. The pure excitement on his face was priceless. That truly made my day. The weekend before, I went to a wedding in Tahoe. Man, I am old! It was a little girl I use to babysit...scary! I spent alone time with my husband, without constant interruption...and I can now remember why I married him in the first place! Gianna and I went to the Miley Cyrus concert two weekends ago. When Miley Cyrus came out, I watched the raw joy on Gianna's face. It's amazing that a six year old knows what to do at a concert! So all in all....I got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, down in my heart!

Just When...

I thought I could breathe, cancer hit again. A lot of my friends say that in order to make this blog...you gotta have cancer. Frankly, I'm sick of writing about this! My friend Vickey (the one in the pink) just found out last night that she has to ride this journey. Two things I know for sure is this......

1. A group of girlfriends (such as us) can not be reckoned with. Our strength is uncompromising

2. God has a plan, even when we don't know what it is - His hand is in it all. We just need to learn to trust it.

I'm still processing it all. Not much more to say...only that I love you Vickey!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NINA

What is in a number? In the past 365 days, this number has built a friendship for a lifetime. Last year at this time, Nina didn't know she had breast cancer. And through all the struggles of the past year, I have learned to love this woman ( in a non-lesbian way!). She has a humor that is unparalleled. A strength that is bottomless. Courage beyond the lion in the Wizard of OZ. And today I am so happy that I get to celebrate another year with this amazing friend! I love you so much. Although, I have to say... I am jealous that you will be getting a new and uplifting rack! Happy Birthday Nina!

I Just Love Him!

I was always that type of kid that was every one's friend in school. To think of it..I'm pretty much that way as an adult too. I never really was a part of a main group at school. I always felt bad for those kids that didn't have a lot of friends. I guess, maybe, that's why Brandon is the way he is. He came home from school the other day and said he felt bad for this kid in his class. "Mom. He doesn't wear the type of clothes everyone else does. And he pretty much wears the same thing. No one wants to be his partner in class and no one wants to play with him at P.E. But I told him I would be his partner and so I played with him." I told Brandon that is one quality that I love about him..his empathy and compassion. "Brandon, you are so amazing! Do you know how you made that kid feel by doing something so simple as that!" I looked over at Brandon and I knew he understood his impact. He had big tears that settled right underneath his bottom lid and said, " I know, Mom. I feel sorry for him. That's why I did it!" Gosh, I just love that little guy.

Broken Prayers

The kids and I were driving on our street, when I saw this cat that just didn't look right. After further investigation, I noticed the cat was bleeding out of every part of its face. It must have gotten run over by a car, but was still walking around in a daze. Sadly, I called several places in our area and nobody could help. Feeling hopeless and disgusted with our Community, I crawled under a big bush, in my work clothes and high heels. I captured the injured cat and drove his little battered body to the vet. As the kids and I were leaving, Brandon said, "Mom...I prayed for that cat. I prayed that he would be okay." Knowing well enough that this kitty was beyond survival, I said, "Well..sometimes God doesn't always answer our prayers, the way we think He should. Sometimes, He just uses us to help. Maybe God brought us to the cat, so that he wouldn't suffer anymore." Tears ran down Brandon's face. It is such a hard lesson to learn that some of God's answer to our prayers is a simple..No. And to most of us (especially a nine year old) it just doesn't make sense.

The Mind Of A Six Year Old

It was 7:59pm and 59 seconds. To be honest, I was done being a parent for the night and I was so ready for the animals, I mean "darling children" to go to bed. I tucked them in, wishing that I had slipped them a little benadryl, to help them sleep better - which I would not do, for all those astonished mothers out there. Anyways, I got cozy on the couch, nestled my bowl of strawberries and whip cream on my lap, preparing my mind to slow down. And I heard it. WHAAA! WHAAA! WHAAA! Frustrated I got up and walked to Gianna's room. "What's wrong" I asked, pretending that I was concerned. "I don't want to grow up" she cried with the biggest tears I have seen! "Why are you worried about that?" "Because", she replied. "I don't want to drive!" "Well, " I said, trying hard not to laugh. " You won't be grown up for a long time. You don't have to worry". I hugged her. "How many days?" she asked as she wrapped her tiny fingers around my neck. "Thousands upon thousands" I said as I kissed her wet chubby face.

My Lovely Nail

I've had ghetto toes for the last few weeks. My feet have gone through the ringer with white water rafting and camping for a week. All I had left was a smudge of pink on the big toe with a decal of a white flower. Damn...I got my moneys worth on that five dollar decal! Lesson learned..never go to a party in flip flops where all your friends can see your ghetto toes! They will pin you down and give you a good ol fashion pedicure. How many friends does it take to paint 10 toes? Three! One to wipe off the nail polish, one to file and put on the base coat, and one to paint them bright orange. The best part? Pretending we were in a chinese nail salon! Pick you color...you want decal?....I give you one pretty nail! Cindy and Ronda tried to give me a decal of a blue flower, but it ended up looking like a blue blob. Thank goodness, through the wine, they admitted that the fee (free) decal was butt ugly....and they started over again! Gotta love those friends who pretend that they are chinese manicurists! Not only that....they look just as good and I saved myself 30 bucks! Not only do I have one lublee (lovely) nail, I have 10 lublee (lovely) toes with no decal! You know you have good friends when they can touch your gross feet. Thanks for the makeover Pam, Cindy, and Ronda! You be friend fo long time!

Life's A Leech

Okay..back to my rafting stories...Nina's last day of chemo took storytelling priority! So...we rafted on Friday for 6 miles. It was hard to enjoy at first because I was so nervous. When we finally set up camp for the night, we decided to go on a hike. I thought hike meant...trails! But basically we had to fight through mounds of rocks, logs, and uneven terrain. It must have been at least 95 degrees out too! On our way, my feet slipped out in front of me and I hit my head on a large boulder. After the fall, I felt very insecure about trekking the rest, but my pride got the best of me and I continued. I should have called it quits. I fell later down the hike, into some stagnant water. I soon felt something on my back and reached my hand back to swoop up three "small black worms." It grossed me out a little, but I paid no attention, until I found a few more on my arms and felt some on my legs. My friend Melanie had decided to walk with me to make sure I was okay after my first fall. I called her over to give my body a little "check over". She looked straight at me and said way too calm...."Those are leeches babe." I freaked out inside, although Melanie says I was pretty calm. I did not hesitate to strip every ounce of clothing off my body and stand naked in the middle of no where, while my friend brushed leeches off me and washed my clothes in the river. If I was thinking straight..I should have left them on my thighs for a while....cheap liposuction. Needless to say, I was the first to drink Margaritas when we got back to camp! Thanks to Melanie...who I am indebted to...and better never, ever tell anyone about my luscious body.

NINA'S CHEMO FINISH LINE!

It was one of those moments that put you in a fog, but at the same time you could remember where you were, what you were wearing, and what song was playing on the radio. I saw Cindy's name cross the screen of my cell phone and answered it in my normal crazy way. And soon was knocked to the ground when she told me Nina had breast cancer. It was October. And today, it is the end of June. I look back in the middle of it all, and that is where the strength of a woman was born and Nina's boob crew was formed. There were titty pity parties, chemo calls, pink M&M's, bright pink shirts that got many uses, shots of tequila, bottles of wine, tears, prayers, faith that no one knew they had, infamous never ending emails, sisterhood beyond comparison, crazy dances with no rhythm, boob squeezes, dew rags, Relay for Life, Love, and above all Laughter! We rallied around one another, held each other up- for it was better to do it together, then to do it alone! Goodbye Cancer....Hello New Boobies!

I SURVIVED!

I'm back from one of the best trips ever! Can I get a WOOT WOOT for White Water Rafting? Loved it! It was exhilarating and scary, not knowing what to expect. The first 10 minutes when we got into the raft, I immediately wanted to tie an anchor around my ankle and just jump out - kill myself before the rapids got me! Our guide scared the crap out of me. He told us that if we did not work as a team, he would not send us out on the water and he was not comfortable with our rafting skills. Well...what did he know? The very first rapid, one of the other boats had a woman overboard and my friend Tina and I saved her out of the water. Talk about adrenaline rush. Take that...river guide! I loved the hot sun beating down, the rush of the warm breeze in my ears, and the shiver down my spine when the water came over me! I loved to hear Jackie screaming like she was on a roller coaster, Ann giggling like a five year old, Reyna saying funny comments just at the right time, Debbie smiling, and for Tina who was by my side the whole trip! It was funny because everyone called us the "church boat". But what they didn't hear was the "OH SHITS" that spewed out of my mouth, every time I got tossed about! Keep reading this week because I have some more stories to tell!

Scared Stupid

Tomorrow I leave for a great adventure of white water rafting. I have been looking forward to this for months! I believe it is a class four trip. There is 18 women total who decided to throw their lives on the line with me. Some of the ladies are scared to death. And to be honest with you, I haven't been scared one bit. The excitement of it all gives me an adrenaline rush! I can't wait to try something new and out of the daily routine of life. But I do have one fear, that is completely real to me....here it is...true confessions.....can't you hear the drum's rolling?....It's getting my ass in a swimsuit! I hate every part of it! From the walking to the aisle of swimsuits, to the dressing room, to getting naked in a large unfamiliar room with mirrors enclosing around me! I settled on a pair of ugly brown swim board shorts...ugly as the way I feel when exposing my white cellulite legs. Isn't it funny, that I'm scared of stupid stuff like that, but can climb Half Dome, do a zip line, and raft on a class four? But to get me into a suit in public can literally make my heart race!

MIRROR, MIRROR, ON THE WALL

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...when we look at you....you tell us all! So, why don't some people actually look at themselves before they go out to a function? I know from personal experience that I do. For instance, this weekend I had a wedding to attend. So...I stood in front of the mirror and busted out my dance moves to the beat in my head. I lifted my hands above my head. Check...shirt didn't ride up. I squatted down. Check...no crack showing.... Bra..holding on tight. Okay...we are good to go! Call me crazy, but I want to be noted for my incredible dance moves...not for my stomach or underwear showing. Apparently, there were other girls at the wedding that did not do the mirror check. And word to the wise.......if you don't do "the check", at least bring an honest and sober friend, that will tell you if your nipple was showing!

MEET DUKE!

Meet our new family member. Justin rescued him from the pound yesterday and surprised me by bringing him home.

Is Honesty The Best Policy?

I was woken up this morning by my husband shaking me quietly. "Rochelle. Shhhhh! I need you to come with me." Why? I asked, still thinking I was in a dream. "I need you to tell me if this is Oscar." What? Where? I was sure I was in a nightmare now. I climbed out of bed in my Christmas pajamas (in June), red tank top, no bra, and slipped on my flip flops. I followed Justin down the street and around the corner, to find our cat laying on the sidewalk. He was hit by a car and I was helpless. Justin placed our black and white kitty in a garbage bag and I walked back sobbing. What am I going to tell the kids? And when? I decided not to tell them this morning, they were just too happy when they woke up. I couldn't wreck that. I thought about not telling them at all and just telling them that he ran away. But I know Brandon would worry his little heart out. Death is a process of life and sometimes you just have to feel the sadness of it all. Although, I find as a mother, it's double the pain to see your children hurting!

Over Ridden

In the depths of a dark garage, in a small moving box, a wild mommy cat gave birth to four fur balls at my mother in laws house. All seven grandchildren were excited. But Brandon was the most elated. "Mom! They're so cute! Mom! I love them! Mom! They are so tiny! And Mom? Can I get one?" I knew that question was coming, but had decided to kick in my super parenting skills of selective hearing. Until my mother in law called..."Gram? How are the kitties? Tell me what they look like again? Are they getting big? Did you take them from the mommy yet? Are you going to take them to the vet?" And then a loud voice appeared like a gripping darkness..."YOU ARE NOT GETTING ONE OF THOSE THINGS!" It was dad. In one millisecond flat, a nine year olds pure joys was changed to heart breaking disappointment and the crocodile tears began to flow. I was mad to say the least! And before I knew it, I committed myself to a kitty..."I don't give a shit what he says....you're getting that damn cat!" Oops..foot in mouth (that's why God gave me a size 11 foot - since it needs to be big enough!) Brandon laughed and cried at the same time, since I shocked him. And me? I shocked myself and will be hiding a little fur ball from the dad of the house!

All I've Ever Needed To Learn from Kindergarten Moms

30 plus moms, wearing their flowered best and newly pedicured toes, trekked out to the kindergarten garden. Nicely place flowers sat on the vinyl pink tablecloth, while the chocolate chip cookies baked for the second time by the sun. The long line of 5 and 6 year olds, sang their hearts out to their mothers, holding tightly to the special cards they made each of us. There was not a dry eye in the garden. Luckily, some of the flowers needed watering! And we were all there for one single purpose - our children. I see these women on a daily basis, as I whizz by them during the morning rush. And what I realized is that no matter what background we come from - we want the best for our children. We share the same struggles as moms, trying to find the balance of being the best mom we can and not forgetting our own worth as a woman. I also learned that ever mom has that internal scream...the one that no one can hear, but every other mom can read on your face. The..."OH MY GOODNESS! GET ME OUT OF HERE"...moments. But then it makes me feel normal, that I am not the only one. And note to self....never wear a short flowered dress that a three year old could climb under and scream out loud so the rest of the world can hear..."Mommy, I see your underwear!" Phew...glad it wasn't me!

DOORBELL DITCH

We all have those neighbors that you just don't want to mess with. The ones that you are secretly afraid of because you never see them coming or going. And you wonder what in the heck they do in that house all day long. Are they hiding dead bodies? Your mind starts to wonder...you know? I've lived in my neighborhood almost 8 years now and really haven't said much to these people I've shared a sidewalk with. Yesterday, I was forced to meet them, as my nine year old son decided it would be a GREAT idea to doorbell ditch them. If it wasn't for my 3 year old nephew, who decided to tattle on his older cousin. And believe me, it wasn't easy trying to figure out the story from a little tow headed toddler. But eventually, Brandon came clean with the story and decided on his own, that he had to apologize. We walked down the street, got to the door, and the doorbell didn't look so inviting to Brandon anymore. But he did apologize to the neighbors, who didn't seem so bad after all. Although, I did tell my son, the last boy that they caught doorbell ditching, has never come out of their house yet! I think he'll think twice next time.

IT'S OKAY TO BREATHE

I've been holding my breath for months now! Life has been a roller coaster, full of ups and downs. Just when I think its okay to let go at the top, no one can hear me scream on my way down. I've feared turning the corner, shutting my eyes, afraid of what is around the bend. And finally, I have found beauty around the cancer corner. My friend Maile found out that her melonoma did not spread into her lymph nodes! Thank God. It seems that cancer has been the theme of my life the past couple of months. I don't want to answer my phone at night because I'm fearful of who is on the other end and the news that they are about to share. But, having so many friends, that are battling this demon, has put life into a new category. Live your best life. Make love matter. Don't sweat the stupid crap! Live it the way God intended! And just breathe!

I'LL GIVE YOU A SOCK...IN THE HEAD!

I packed my entire backpack on Saturday for our 20 mile hike. However, I couldn't seem to find my wool socks that are a definite must on such a long trek. I thought that maybe I had misplaced them in my husbands sock drawer. Sure enough, there was a pair. I was certain they were mine. So I took them. Well....lets go back to my husband's childhood...lets say...about 20 years ago when the flannel shirts were a fad. Apparently, my husbands two sisters use to take his flannel shirts without asking. Taking his socks (on accident, I must emphasis) put him back to when he was a teenager! "Don't go in my drawers without asking! Why can't I have anything of my own? Where are your own socks?" Well, lets see..... I thought those were my socks because I took them. If I knew were my own were, I wouldn't have used yours! Duh! He kept pressing me...wanting to know where my wool socks were. "Why? Why do you want to know so bad," I replied with my jaw clenched tighter then Fort Knox. "Because I want to wear them on my hiking trip,"he replied! Did I miss the bus somewhere along this road of conversation? I can't wear his stuff, but he can wear mine? I'll give him a sock....in the head!

Surrender

I got a call Friday on my way to work. "Rochelle, they have a spot open at the Women's Retreat, if you want to go!" Well........let me think about that. No way! I'm really mad at God right now. I'm mad that my friend is gone. I'm mad that my other friend has cancer. I'm mad that my children are brats. I'm mad that I am overwhelmed. "Okay, let me see what I can work out," I say to my friend because I don't want to disappoint her. I knew that my husband would not want me to go and I also knew that we were shorthanded at work. Excuses, Excuses! So I knew, it was going to be impossible. I half heatedly asked my husband and my boss and without hesitation they both said, "GO!" Great....just great! Now, I'm committed. And you know what? God planned out every small detail. I ended up staying in a room all by myself, which is totally out of character for me! But such a blessing. I really got to take a good look at who I am and how God takes care of every small detail in our lives. I learned that I may not understand why things happen, but that I have a God that will hold me through it all, big and small.

Missing You!

My friend Shannan Wirt lost her battle with leukemia on March 5, 2009. Even though it has only been 5 days, it already seems like an eternity. I look back at time - only one year ago - and she didn't even know that she had this disease. It really puts life into perspective. I will miss so much about her - her love for my son, her generosity, her positive attitude, her beauty, her spunk, the way she would shave ice and put real lemon on top, how she got me to get into a dang swimsuit, and our intimate talks about husbands and children. Can someone please pinch me? Cloverdale is such a small town and I just know I'm going to run into her somewhere! It's really painful to lose a friend. I can't even seem to ask the question why anymore. I'm trusting that Gods timing is His own - although at this moment I'm not agreeing with His timing at all!

Four years ago, when I took the chance to introduce myself to her, I never thought that I would be standing up in front of hundreds of people, pouring my heart out at her memorial service. Whatever it is in your life....please....please.......take the chance........I promise, you'll be glad you did!

My Rock Star!

It's an inside joke between my friend Nina and I - you only make my blog if you have cancer! Well obviously she has cancer because she made my blog! October she was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a double mastectomy in January, and just started her chemo in February. Yesterday, her hair started to fall out. Well if it was me, I probably would have cried myself to sleep and then hid in a dark bomb shelter until my hair grew back! Nina? Oh no! Can't hold that girl down. She took advantage of the opportunity and made herself look like a rock star. She called me last night to tell me she got her hair cut and was going to stop by my work today to show me. When I walked out of my office and saw her face, I could see her strength and her confidence. When I saw her rock star hair, I was certain she was going to pull her electric guitar out of her back pocket and start singing something from White Snake! Cancer is not going to bring her down! She is going to kick its butt with flying colors! She is a true rock star in my eyes!

Dear Cancer

I never invited you into my life, but you came anyway. You bullied yourself right into my friend's body, like a thief in the night. Did you think you were going to steal her dignity away? Did you think that by making her body weak, you would destroy the strong independent woman that she is? Did you think by stripping away her hair upon her head and her lashes from her loving eyes that she would become less beautiful? Did you think by taking her voice away, that I would not know how much she loves those around her? Don't think for a minute that you have conquered. Don't think for a second that the children that are left behind won't be the ones to figure out the cure! Don't think that those that have been touched by her life won't love harder, love stronger, or love deeper. Don't think that even though we don't have any control, that God holds her in His hands!

LETS MAKE A DEAL

My name use to be Rochelle Hall...........not Monty Hall (from the old show Lets Make a Deal). But I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm always cutting a deal with someone in my life...husband, kids, and clients. Can I just say that clients are the worst! Especially in the insurance industry. Today, I got an email from someone who wanted a quote, but also wanted me to guarantee them (in writing...I might add) that their insurance will never go up! Okay first of all....what planet are you on! Would you like me to write it in blood? And when does anything ever go down in life? (I just thought of one thing...but I won't even go there!) Anyways.....back to the subject! Where do people think they can boss and bully others around by "making" them guarantee something? That is just not going to happen. Do you go to Safeway and demand a letter that the price of milk will never go up....or produce.....or the price of deli meat? The price is what it is! And the only reason why I'm telling this story is because a lot of people have been missing my blog writing and I had to think of something. Although, I am honored that so many people cared about my blog because I was feeling like no one was reading it! So thanks! And I want you to write me a letter guaranting that you will be my faithful blog reader forever! Now, that's a deal!

Kid Swap

As long as I've known my friend Vicki, which has been a mere 30 Years, she has always loved games. Whether it was a game show or a board game, Vicki has always been a die hard game player. I was venting to her the other day about parenting and how children don't grasp the idea of gratitude towards their parents. And then it hit Vicki - A Game Show called Kid Swap. Why don't we swap our children with other parents. The purpose? To slap our children into reality, that we truly are not as bad as they think we are. Although, there is a kicker to this game......they are placed in a third world country.....not in America. They will realize that life is not easy. Things just come easily here. For instance (which Vicki and I discussed with pains in our stomachs - from laughing so hard)........we will send our children to Uganda. Instead of playing the Wii - they will play.....Wii is poor! I swear it makes me laugh just writing about it.

You Know You Are Old When..........

1. You keep plucking the same chin hair from the same spot, every two weeks
2. You start driving the speed limit
3. Cartoon voices sound annoying
4. You need coffee before you can function for the day
5. You notice that people born in the 90's are of driving age
6. Kids that you babysat when you were a teenager, are getting married
7. You can't call your best friend after 8:00pm because they might be in bed
8. You consider wearing Spanx
9. Sleep is more important than sex. Oh wait, even when I was younger...I thought that!
10. Eating ice cream with your spouse is considered foreplay!

How Did I Get Here?

I can close my eyes sometimes and completely revert back to my younger days. I can smell the stuffy cafeteria, envision my friend with oranges stuck in her braces, feel the slick parachute pants against my legs, and feel the pain of my calloused hands from the monkey bars. THOSE WERE THE DAYS! And in an instant......I'm 35! What? How can that be? Who pressed the fast forward button? I have a house. I have a husband. I have children. I drive a minivan. I have a job. I'm an adult! But, I must say.....sometimes I don't feel like one. I still feel like a kid inside. I still love to sit around with my friends, eat ice cream, and laugh until my stomach screams! I've been evaluating my life.....since 35 is sooooo close to 40! Am I who I want to be? Hmmmm? The answer? Sometimes. There are moments in my life that I look in the mirror and I ask the reflection...who are you? What do you like to do? Are you more than just a wife and a mother? Of course I am! My resolution for this year (since it is so close to my birthday) is to find what makes me happy as a person - to take care of me. Because if Mama ain't happy......nobody is happy!

DRAWING ATTENTION

Justin insisted that I go to the store to get ice cream the other night...might I add...at 8:00pm. I really was done for the night. But the thought of pure creamy sugar nudged me into my minivan. As I was walking through the store, I heard..bang, bang, bang. Metal against metal. Bang, Bang, Bang. Where the hell is that noise coming from? It was irritating me beyond belief. Not to mention, its around the first of the month...PMS. And then I see HIM! A fifty something year old man, banging his foot against the cart as he walked. It wasn't necessary for him to walk that way. He just wanted to draw attention to himself. First of all....when you have hair that looks like a fisher price lawn mower attacked the middle of your head...you don't draw attention to yourself.....you creep along the supermarket aisles. All he needed to do was go into the aisle of hair products, dye it red, put on some big shoes, and he would have looked exactly like Bozo the Clown. And I needed to go into the aisle of sedatives to calm myself down!