My Mother In Law

I'm not sure how she really does it. I think she carries a magic wand. My mother in law never forgets a detail during the Christmas season. The tree is nicely decorated (although this year she bought two because she didn't like the first one), sugar cookies decorated, fudge plated, stockings over flowing, every present tied with love and a glittered bow, ham baking in the oven, and homemade gnocchi's to boot. I truly think the kids think that they are driving to The North Pole, when they are actually driving to Sebastopol to go to Gram's house on Christmas. Although, I love all the things my mother in law does....I do tell her that she is crazy because it must be hard work to make seven grandchildren eyes glow. But she does it every year. This year, Brandon wanted an electric guitar, which my husband said very firmly..NO WAY! My heart ached because I knew how much he really wanted it and how disappointed he would be. And guess what? My mother in law has authority over my husband and Santa had this amazing gift at her house. When Brandon opened the electric guitar he had the most amazing look of joy on his face, that I actually teared up. He kept saying...I'm so happy, I'm so happy! This was the first time in my life that I was happy that she did not listen to me or my husband. She truly made Christmas magic. Thanks Jill!

My Wish For You This Christmas

My wish for you this Christmas is that you have a job, a home, family, and good friends. That you wrap yourself in light and enjoy the small blessings around you. I use to think it was about the presents...but it is about being present for those you love. ~Merry Christmas~

9 Months and The Labor of Love

Everyone has a box that they hide in the back of their closets and no matter where you go or where you move - it is always there- until you decide to get rid of it! The box of guilt, shame lonliness...the list goes on and on. For the last nine months since my friend Shannan died, I've had the "Where were you God Box". I've felt the sadness. I've felt the guilt of getting to hug her nine year old son and I've felt the guilt of tucking him in. And then it hit me - I should be thankful. Thankful that I get to do that for Shannan and for her son. That I can be a part of this whole story. I grabbed my box, dusted it off, and handed it over in thankfulness. But this story gets better. 9 months to the day, this little boy called me on the phone and at the end of the phone call he said, "Bye, I love you." What a precious gift, that I have been given. This last nine months has been such a labor of love - just like a nine month pregnancy. The pains, the uncomfortableness, the sickness, but in the end, when all is delivered....there is such beauty that you hold on to. And when that boy said he loved me...I felt the freedom of letting go of that box.