Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I don't think you're ready for this Jelly

The dreaded postcard came in the mail! I can feel my face burning as I read "It's been a year, since we've seen your rear". My doctor really doesn't say that, but they might as well. I hate going in for my annual pap. So, I took a lunch today for my appointment. I usually try to make them in the morning when everything is "fresh, fresh, exciting". I don't want to mess with the middle afternoon sweats. But before I leave, I go into the girls bathroom to find a little "Woot, Woot Spray" to give it a little lift me up. As I go to spray the bath and body, I decide just to take another look..... and what I read just about cracked me up. Garnier Fructis Hairspray! Can you imagine? " I'm sorry doctor, I don't know why I can't open my legs to get them in the stir ups. They seem to be stuck together!" I finally get to the appointment, as I laugh the entire way there in my car. People must think I just escaped the mental ward. The office has no air conditioning and I'm sitting with no bra or underwear on, just the beautiful starchy gown. I feel sweaty all over my body. The doctor's hand practically slips off my boob and onto the floor because they are dripping wet. Why? Why? Do I deserve such treatment. I'm not ready for this jelly!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh sister can I relate! I had my pap and my mammogram scheduled within 90 minutes of each other on tax day (April 15th) as if walking my entire bank account to the post office wasn't painful enough! Never again :) McCowen girl

Anonymous said...

Only you would and could write about this. Go thing you looked at the can before you sprayed. He might of wondered why you styled your "hair down there"
I totally schedule mine for early AM too.

Luv Mag