Kid Swap

As long as I've known my friend Vicki, which has been a mere 30 Years, she has always loved games. Whether it was a game show or a board game, Vicki has always been a die hard game player. I was venting to her the other day about parenting and how children don't grasp the idea of gratitude towards their parents. And then it hit Vicki - A Game Show called Kid Swap. Why don't we swap our children with other parents. The purpose? To slap our children into reality, that we truly are not as bad as they think we are. Although, there is a kicker to this game......they are placed in a third world country.....not in America. They will realize that life is not easy. Things just come easily here. For instance (which Vicki and I discussed with pains in our stomachs - from laughing so hard)........we will send our children to Uganda. Instead of playing the Wii - they will play.....Wii is poor! I swear it makes me laugh just writing about it.

You Know You Are Old When..........

1. You keep plucking the same chin hair from the same spot, every two weeks
2. You start driving the speed limit
3. Cartoon voices sound annoying
4. You need coffee before you can function for the day
5. You notice that people born in the 90's are of driving age
6. Kids that you babysat when you were a teenager, are getting married
7. You can't call your best friend after 8:00pm because they might be in bed
8. You consider wearing Spanx
9. Sleep is more important than sex. Oh wait, even when I was younger...I thought that!
10. Eating ice cream with your spouse is considered foreplay!

How Did I Get Here?

I can close my eyes sometimes and completely revert back to my younger days. I can smell the stuffy cafeteria, envision my friend with oranges stuck in her braces, feel the slick parachute pants against my legs, and feel the pain of my calloused hands from the monkey bars. THOSE WERE THE DAYS! And in an instant......I'm 35! What? How can that be? Who pressed the fast forward button? I have a house. I have a husband. I have children. I drive a minivan. I have a job. I'm an adult! But, I must say.....sometimes I don't feel like one. I still feel like a kid inside. I still love to sit around with my friends, eat ice cream, and laugh until my stomach screams! I've been evaluating my life.....since 35 is sooooo close to 40! Am I who I want to be? Hmmmm? The answer? Sometimes. There are moments in my life that I look in the mirror and I ask the reflection...who are you? What do you like to do? Are you more than just a wife and a mother? Of course I am! My resolution for this year (since it is so close to my birthday) is to find what makes me happy as a person - to take care of me. Because if Mama ain't happy......nobody is happy!

DRAWING ATTENTION

Justin insisted that I go to the store to get ice cream the other night...might I add...at 8:00pm. I really was done for the night. But the thought of pure creamy sugar nudged me into my minivan. As I was walking through the store, I heard..bang, bang, bang. Metal against metal. Bang, Bang, Bang. Where the hell is that noise coming from? It was irritating me beyond belief. Not to mention, its around the first of the month...PMS. And then I see HIM! A fifty something year old man, banging his foot against the cart as he walked. It wasn't necessary for him to walk that way. He just wanted to draw attention to himself. First of all....when you have hair that looks like a fisher price lawn mower attacked the middle of your head...you don't draw attention to yourself.....you creep along the supermarket aisles. All he needed to do was go into the aisle of hair products, dye it red, put on some big shoes, and he would have looked exactly like Bozo the Clown. And I needed to go into the aisle of sedatives to calm myself down!