Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Change - I hate it!

The summer is almost over, which means the kids will be back to school. There is a time for everything and this year is a time for change. Brandon will be in 3rd grade and Gianna is starting kindergarten. We are sending them to a new school this year, which leaves my heart topsy turvy. I have woken up in the middle of night, waking God up at 2:00am in the morning, asking Him, if I am doing the right thing. So far, He hasn't bellowed down in a large voice telling me what to do. Sometimes, don't you wish it was that easy? God what to I do? And you actually can physically hear Him lay the plans out for your life! I hate not knowing, but that is where the trust and faith kick in. Not only are the kid's lives changing, but mine as well. I will be giving up a day off in the middle of the week, so that I can work shorter days and be with the kids after school. I am blessed to be able to do this, but still not sure of it all. We also just signed the papers to put our house up for sale. I don't think I can handle one more thing! I am so mixed up about everything. Should we move? Should we not? I love it here! I hate it here! I feel like someone has put me in a blender and has pushed the button on "tear you heart apart". All these decisions just don't affect me...but the kids as well. I'm sure I'll look back at this someday and feel okay about everything. But I sure hate the change when I'm in the middle of it!

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